Friday, January 16, 2015

Struggling Through

Moving is hard. Period.

I know; I have done it a lot. Moving from city to city, where you have to pick up and leave your friends and your life, as you know it is just plain hard. BUT it’s a new adventure with new experiences, people and places. I have made wonderful friends because of our moves, truly the best!! I have amazing friends all over the world now, which I would not have if we had not moved like we have. And for that I am thankful! 

I'm going to be honest and bear my soul here; moving is never easy. Sometimes it’s easier than others, but there is always transition. But this move has been hard. Not the actual move itself, but the transition. We have been here 6 months and I am struggling. Yes, I know, it takes 2 years, or so I have been told countless times, but there have been times we have not even been somewhere for 2 years. I don't want to wait 2 years. I can't spend 2 years struggling to fit in, to make friends, to feel comfortable. 

As the kids get older, yes they are in more activities, but that just means it’s busier. I run more and wait in more car lines. There is no walking your child into school so you can meet the other moms. No playgroups, where you are all going through the same things. No mommy and me classes or preschool swim time, etc. You are thrown out there on your own to make your own way when they kids are older. So yes, the kids are all involved, but the parents are not involved. Which just means my kids are doing much better than me.  Do they have a best friend yet, no, not really? They do however have friends and feel comfortable in their environments. I'm grateful for that. I don't want them to struggle. 

It’s hard for me to be the mom, wife and person I want to be when I am struggling inside though. Sometimes the tears come out of nowhere; when I am home alone cleaning and they are all at school, or I am in the car. But I feel like I can't struggle. I have to be the rock. So it’s a battle sometimes, an inner battle.

Will it work itself out? Yes, it will. It takes time. I know that, I do!! But does that mean its not hard...nope! It’s hard. It's really hard at times. But thank goodness I have all those awesome friends from all those other moves that I can count on; that I can share with, and cry with, and be happy with!

1 comment:

  1. Bless you, Gretchen! I haven't moved as much, but I hear you. One encouragement that Sally Clarkson always gives is to start something, be the inviter (she moved a lot and would echo much of you what you said here). It should not be that way, the "old folks" should be the ones inviting the new folks into their lives. But alas, it is no so. I will be praying for encouragement for your heart and God to provide some kindred spirits for you. It is SO HARD not to be known and have to go through all of the TIME it takes to build relationships. Lots of love. You always inspire me!