Thursday, March 22, 2012

Judgement day

This past week has been a week of reflection for for me. There was a situation in which I always felt like I was being judged as a parent and a person. It did not make me feel good….at all! That person confirmed that yup, the way I parent was not how they do and some of the things that my kids do would never be tolerated in their house. This fact frustrated that person. And I understand that. I too have looked at other kids behavior and judged a parent. Am I proud to say that…NO! But we ALL do. Some just make their dissaproval more apparent than others. 

I am a very emotional person (a trait that will stay with me forever I believe) and sometimes I have a hard time just letting stuff roll off my sleeve. So I hem and haw and I think and analyze things to death. But I have leaned over my past 7 3/4 years of a parent that there is no right and wrong way to parent (unless a child is in danger or being neglected) and most parents are doing their best. Also (and I know this is clique) but "Never Judge a Book by its Cover!" When we encounter strangers kids we don't know their situation. Is that child acting that way because they have experienced something they don't know how to deal with and it is coming out in aggression? Does that child have ADHD or Aspergers? Does that child not get enough to eat at home? Who knows…so who are we to judge openly? 

I know I have been judged many times over. We struggled with Logan's behavior for years. But it was not something that I unaware of or ever ignored. It was something that we were working our very hardest to change and to help him with. And our efforts have paid off two fold! I am so proud of where we have come!! And I know when people would ask Meeka her name and at 2 1/2 (and she looked 3+) and she could not answer them, they judged. But again, we were doing our very best to help her with that…and again, it has paid off!!

Only two times in my life though have I dealt with someone so openly stating their disapproval and they were hard to deal with emotionally. Because like I said before, "aren't we all trying to do best for our kids?" 

So this really made me think a lot this week on how much we judge others…good and bad. Grass is always greener on the other side...or not. You don't know the struggles that person may be going through. We all do our best and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Be happy with your life, your kids, your family, etc. Never judge yourself against others. And try your best not to judge others against you. Because that person is probably trying their very best too. And a lot of times there is no right or wrong on how to parent. That is why we live in a  country with choices. No one judges you for the shampoo you use or the type of milk you buy so why should you be judged on how you raise your kids when their are countless choices on how to do so?

A friend of mine said, "We all judge, and we are all judged by others. You just hope that others are as courteous about not making us know it as we are to others." And this statement could not be more true! It is impossible to NEVER judge, but if you do,just know that they may still think about that situation years later!!

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